Me and Drumming

Hey there, this is Phoenix and although I am one of the founders of Pagan Sounds, I have yet to add my voice to this blog.  So as my first official leap into Pagan Sounds blogging, I figured that I would write about my experience with drumming and what brought me to this point.

This story goes off track a wee bit, but bear with me, we’ll get there.

I started belly dancing when I was in my late teens (see what I mean about off track?).  What started as a fun activity for me, my mom, and sister, to do together became an art form that I was rather good at.  I caught on to the movements quickly and was easily able to get my body to copy what the instructor showed us.  After the first session my mom and sister dropped out, but I was hooked.

There was something transcendent about moving my hips in time to the drum beat.  And the first time I danced on stage with live musicians, my dancing moved on to another level.  There is an electric interplay between drummer and dancer, an energy, a conversation, that goes back and forth.  I loved feeling that conversation in my hips as I shimmied to the beat the drummers laid out for me to follow.

I loved the drumming in belly dancing.  I wanted to be able to drum like they did; so intricate and moving.  And on my 23^th birthday my friends all pitched in and surprised me with a small set of bongo drums.

I was elated and terrified.

You see, now I had these drums and they expected me to play them, only I didn’t “know how” to play.  I hadn’t learned any rhythms, I never took any classes, and I was scared of looking foolish.

The lovely and thoughtful present was played by many other hands, but never my own.  I was too afraid of doing something wrong.  I was scared to be off beat.  I was so worried about messing up, that I never  once played those drums.

Fast forward close to ten years later, I am part-owner of a drum business.  Weird, right?  It’s only been about three years that I have started playing drums, even by myself.  So what changed?

I took a drum workshop, hoping that I would “learn some rhythms”, but what I actually learned was much more powerful.  I had been waiting for someone to give me permission.  I had been waiting for the okay signal, from some outside source.  I felt like I needed a green light to play the drums, otherwise I would be doing it wrong.

I have been a part of many classes and drums circles since then and now I understand that I only needed permission from myself.  I was the one holding me back.  I make mistakes all the time in my drumming.  And now I know that it’s okay to do that.  In fact, that is all part of the magic of it.

So I say to you, don’t waste ten years worrying about how making mistakes, just get out there and do it!